This morning’s meditation or what I could call…what a gal and Death can do in 30 minutes:
With little or no ceremony I was swooshed down the rabbit hole and plopped into Helheim.
Hela was there, waivering between a skeleton and a more fleshy form. She put Her hand on the small of my back and led me through a gate that brought us to an area all deep black with random flecks of light here and there. It was very heavy in there, thick like a humid day in the middle of summer but more so…somewhere between air and water really, but I could float a bit. I had the sensation I often feel in Her presence, that I could blissfully slip away…all the bits and pieces of me could just melt inside of Her.
She seemed bothered, concerned that perhaps I shouldn’t be all bound up in her. I’m not cerain why, but she has expressed this in the past as well. She explained that there was still time to turn back, the bonds could fall away and I could be whatever it is she thinks I might otherwise be without her. I told her that I thought I was already well past that point of now return and she said, the bonds to Her were “tight, but still slight.” I could still turn away and serve Another.
We sat on the edge of a of a cliff, our feet dangling over the edge like kids. Below us, it looked la bit like this:
She explained to me that she was an aspect of death – that there are Gods and Goddesses and then there are Forces. Death is a Force, She is a facet.
Then I was falling from the edge, oddly enough I wasn’t overly concerned. I landed on a lava free area and quickly made my way in a cave that was tunnel shaped. In the tunnel was a rather ordinary looking man, standing there like we had agreed to meet there and I was running late. He was dressed in every day clothing, but resembled this actor:
He took my face in his hand, sort of a basketball hold. I felt like I was being rifled through, examined. I wasn’t certain if this was the way people greet eachother here so I did the same to Him. I saw lush landscapes turn from this:
I witnessed people in fine clothing celebrating and suddenly they turned to dust. I felt a final breath as it transformed into the sharp in take of a first breath.
He laughed, said most people don’t do that to Him. He welcomed me to His realm and then in a turn of the head I was walking down a suburban street, carbon copy houses as far as the eye could see. I entered one and He sat in the family room, in a leather arm chair. I knelt before Him. Not in words but just as expressive I understood there are Forces in the everything…love…hate…chaos, and of course there was Death.
He “went” on…”I bind myself to Hela I bind myself to Him, it was that simple. By virtue of serving Hela, I served Death. Now this doesn’t mean I become all grims – quite the opposite, those in service to Death tend to live out loud…they learn about both sides of the coin…no end really, just edges between realms. But, I must choose and know the price I’ll pay”. He showed me what Hela longed for, a warior, a servant, a watcher…
I must understand my bond with the dead would deepen…there would be so much more work so much more devotion to give.
I was curious why it was that Hela would offer Her throat or wrist or breast to me…He said it was to draw me deeper,to fill me or whom ever was offered such a thing…with an essence as a foundation of sorts and a ladder to grow upon…He then proffered His wrist…I pounced and drank like a hungry kitten.
I was flooded with images and encounters, I met up with pets from long ago, my nana and grand dad. Then I was in an Edwardian town with a friend from long ago and apparently far away. her anme was Alfreda and we had been apart for some time. She wasn’t dead just elsewhere all this time. I offred Him my wrist and He drank deep as well. I don’t know what He saw or felt.
All at once I was with Hela, she held me close.
As usual I fully awoke form this feeling nauseated and exhausted.